7 Reasons to have a Boudoir Experience

A boudoir shoot is a vulnerable experience and can bring up all kinds of fears and concerns for everyone. Women, in particular, have a few common ones that come up when I talk to clients, and I’d like to address those in this post.

1. “I don’t look good in pictures.”

It’s almost like women are programmed from a very young age to find something about their body they don’t like and focus on that.

I just look so awkward in photos.

Taking a good portrait is hard. It requires knowledge of posing different bodies, lighting techniques, and post-processing on part of the photographer. More importantly, the photographer you work with has to help you feel relaxed and comfortable.

Women are constantly bombarded from every direction with the demand that they look ‘perfect’. In this environment, choosing to love yourself as you are is a radical act. A good photographer will help you get out of your head so you can be in your body and see how beautiful you truly are.

2. “I need to lose weight.”

Teri Hofford, a world-famous photographer and body-positive activist says, “If I had a dollar for every time a woman told me she needed to lose weight, I wouldn’t need to run a business!”

I have to agree with her. There are probably one or two women in the world who are completely happy with their weight. I just haven’t met them yet.

This is just an unfortunate consequence of the diet and exercise industry, advertising, and other forms of social messaging.

The reality is that our bodies are always changing and growing in different ways, accumulating life experiences and battle scars - whether it be from growing older, having children, going through surgery and so on. Ultimately, our bodies are a canvas on which the story of our life is written, so why not do our best to embrace it?

3. “I’m too old for this.”

According to who? Society?

Just because our society only values young, perfectly fit bodies doesn’t mean that you can’t value your own. Your current body, as it is, is beautiful and deserves to be appreciated, and celebrated.

Before and during the shoot, I will work with you to find the right outfits, looks, and poses that work with you and your body. I’m not trying to make you into some pre-defined mold, but in capturing what makes you authentically beautiful and sexy.

Some of my favorite client stories from other photographers have been in their fifties, and most of my clients are in their late thirties and early forties. The boudoir community works with women of all body types, including plus-sized women, and women with disabilities and physical constraints.

4. “I don’t have the time for myself.”

This is something many women struggle with, including me. Women are conditioned to take care of others and put others’ needs before their own. As a result, many women invest all of their energy into being mothers, partners, and successful professionals. Unfortunately, this often means that they put their own needs and self-care on a lower priority.

It’s important to remember to put on your own oxygen mask before helping others. Sometimes, the best thing you can do for everyone is to take care of yourself and give yourself the time and love you deserve.

A boudoir photo session is a time where you get to be completely yourself, and see how beautiful, confident, sexy, and powerful you can look through other people’s eyes. My clients have said that they find it an incredibly empowering and joyous experience that they’ll cherish for the rest of their lives.

5. “This is an investment and I don’t have the money right now.”

One of my clients put this better than anything I could say.

“I know this is a high-end experience, but it’s an investment in myself. I’m going to turn 30 only once. This is the best I’ve ever felt in my life about myself, and I deserve to celebrate the work that I have put in.”

Yes, a photo session is an investment. However, every time you look at your album for the rest of your life, you’ll carry that feeling of power and confidence from your session.

I understand that life happens, and sometimes finances are a concern. I do offer payment plans. Please talk to me about those during your consultation. I’m committed to never allowing finances to get in the way!

6. “I don’t really feel sexy.”

That’s an even bigger reason to do a boudoir photo session. Often, in the course of our busy, stressful lives, we lose touch with our bodies and the pleasure it can provide to us.

A photo session is a great way to spend some time focusing on yourself and getting back in touch with your body, appreciating all that it can do for you.

Also, I don’t believe that feeling sexy has anything to do with lingerie or specific items of clothing. Sexy is a state of mind; it’s a level of comfort with yourself irrespective of what you’re wearing. So if wearing lingerie is not your thing, then I won’t ask you to wear them in your session!

7. “I don’t want to be pushed into doing something that I’m not comfortable with.”

An intimate shoot is a vulnerable, emotional experience. For many of you, it’s your first time doing anything like this, and you don’t want to feel pressured into doing anything you’re not absolutely comfortable with.

This is a core part of my work. Being attuned and present with you at all times during the shoot is essential both for a great experience and for getting those amazing pictures we all want to create!

Before a shoot, I will have a check-in to ensure I clearly understand where you are that day: your comfort zone, your edges, and your hard limits.

As the shoot proceeds, I am always there to ensure that you are always relaxed and comfortable. I’ll cheer you on if you choose to push yourself a little bit beyond your comfort zone, and I’ll immediately slow down and take a break if you’re feeling at all stressed or uncomfortable. This is your session, and you have complete control over what you want to try.

I’m simply there to support you and be fully present for you. You never have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. My goal is for you to feel that you just spent a really fun day with a friend.

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Do any of these feel like you? What do you think? I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to send me a message with your thoughts. If you’re curious to learn more, just book a free consultation.